Snow.

Today it snowed. Like, the magical, beautiful kind. It was the third time I've seen this kind of snow in Korea.

Generally I've had a pretty bad attitude about winter here. We came here almost exactly a year ago (February 16th is our Koreanniversary), and I remember being so angry in the March, April, and May months because the cold just kept NOT getting warmer. So it's been really, really cold, and I've been counting down the months.

But today Stephen and I were walking to get dinner and I was really enjoying the crunchy fresh snow feel against my super-durable yellow rainboots, and I thought...I am going to miss this time. I'm going to miss the place, definitely the food, my students, the daily conveniences we enjoy here. And I'm happy. I'm really happy, even though it's so unreasonably cold.

But I keep looking forward to the future. Always logging onto my student loan account and re-calculating and re-calculating the amount of time until I'm debt-free. Always crossing the days off on my calendar, yearning for the weekend or vacation or payday or lately the end of our contract, which means a bonus and the beginning of the new, shorter-hours contract. And when that starts, I guess I'll be counting down the days until we go home because there will be a "counting-down-the-days" void to fill.

And speaking of which, that's the plan*. Going home after the next contract. And that's been the big topic of conversation for us. For a while we thought we'd stay three years, maybe even longer. But two years is long enough. No matter how much we like it here, and no matter how easy it is for us to live and work here, this place is not home. And we can't make it our home. Which is sad in some ways. Because we really, really love it here. It's a special place.

Currently I have this fuzzy picture of what going "home" looks like, and I can't really make it out. I have this image of myself sort of cowering with my bachelor's degree in the scary American job market. The principal reason we want to go back is to be close to the people that we love. But all of those people are so spread out. So where do we plant ourselves? And what will we do to sustain ourselves? It's all really, really up in the air. It's scary. It makes me feel small.

So, friends and family: What are your long term goals? Where will you be in a year? Five years? Does anyone know?

Where should we go?

*Stephen wants me to point out that it's a year away and we can't be 100% certain that going home is what's in store for us. So going home after this contract is what we've decided, at least at this point, is what we both want. Ultimately, as with all things in the future...we'll see.