In the course of two weeks, I have been given wisdom and stamina that I never before had imagined. Seriously, didn't see that coming.

In the first week, Stephen and I ended our days slumping in our seats, staring at nothing, braindead, exhausted, actually spitting out gibberish when we attempted to communicate. When we found a bit of energy we used it to ask ourselves, "How are we going to work these days for the rest of this week? Oh. my. God. How are we going to work these days for an entire year?"

Last week I couldn't stand to stay at the office if there was work to be done. The thought of staying was horrendous. I mean, I couldn't do my work anyway because I was braindead. Last week I needed a beer, and I needed my head to be hitting a pillow. This week, I can stand being there. I'm not tired. I want to be there. I can wait to eat. I can wait to change into comfortable clothes. I can wait to sleep. I'm not really sure how to articulate how amazing this is. I mean, I expend SO much energy during class. And after ten hours of it, I can focus on grading and lesson planning. My body and mind are responding to all of this the way your muscles respond to 30 minutes of cardio every day. What a relief! And with that being said, I'm still sleeping like a baby before 11pm.

Also, last week when a child cried I was emotional. In the way you're emotional during a movie about the Titanic. I'm being dramatic, but only a little. I mean, I could not handle crying children. What do you do with it? It just cries harder when you tremulously touch its shoulder and say "um. are you okay?" When a child misbehaved, I threw my hands in the air, thinking, "Jesus, why do you CARE what color pencil you get??" These children were aliens to me, and I wanted them to be little adults. But, of course, they are neither. They're kids. And their world is so different, and so amazing. And even if at first you're offensive to them, if you don't know how to be comforting, if you don't discipline them in ways that they understand...they'll let you come around. Kids are egoists, but they're gracious in ways that we aren't.

While I get better, my students are getting better too. My crier smiled for the first time two days ago when I picked her up to demonstrate the concepts "up" and "down." She didn't just smile--She shrieked with delight and she held onto me! She started talking more, engaging more in the class activities, responding to positive reinforcement. I didn't realize I could feel such intense joy as all of this happened.

I'm learning a lot from my coworkers. How do you handle the pencil situation? You just have one student hand out all the pencils while everyone else closes their eyes and holds their hands out. When you open your eyes, somehow it's easier to come to terms with the color you got. No trading allowed. Also, you get rid of all the pink pencils for good.

Most problems can be easily turned into a completely stupid, time-wasting game. At first you're scared they're going to see right through you. But somehow, the students become disciplined. And suddenly, completely stupid, time-wasting things become absolutely brilliant.

Anyway, it occurred to me today that we're committing ourselves completely to this. Ten-plus hours a day for an entire year. Kids and grammar are my life. And I'm pretty okay with it.

-Andrea